Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The New Girl

Dressed in a hospital gown and my shoes, which thwacked against the linoleum with every step because the laces were confiscated, I was escorted onto the ward by a nurse. She showed me my room, furnished with two twin beds and matching nightstands. It could have been a dorm room on move-in day, except the beds were already made and there was a bathroom in the tiny room. A curtain could be drawn for privacy between my roommate and me, who I dreaded meeting.

The nurse handed me a small, cellophane-wrapped styrofoam tray. It contained travel-size bottles of shampoo, conditioner, soap, toothpaste, a toothbrush, and a cheap plastic comb. The fluorescent tubes above reflected on the shrink-wrap's shiny surface.

Thin blue bedspreads, faded from age, matched the institutional blue paint on the walls. Brown water stains dotted the soundproof ceiling tiles. The only window was reinforced with wire and looked onto an alley where trucks were parked, the drivers rolling canvas laundry bins, large as love seats and filled with soiled linens, up the ramps.

The bathroom mirror was manufactured with a polycarbonate glazing to keep patients from breaking it. I stared at my reflection, at the black crust in the corners of my mouth left behind from the activated charcoal, thick as a milkshake and the color of licorice, that the trauma nurses made me drink. I'd refused until they threatened to pump my stomach to cleanse me of the prescription medication on which I had overdosed, so I held my breath and swallowed the concoction that would neutralize my stomach contents.

Under the dim yellow light of the bathroom, I showered, combed my hair, brushed my teeth, and put on my gown, stained black in the front with dried charcoal and saliva. This was how I prepared to meet my fellow patients. I had no idea it was only the first of many hospitalizations to come.



This is my first time entering a post into the yeah write challenge. Click on the badge to see what it's about and read some excellent writing from around the Web. Go back on Thursday and vote for your 5 favorites. Thanks!

42 comments:

  1. Oh, goodness... What a memory... Many hugs...

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    1. Thanks! This happened in '94, so I was really surprised how hard it was to write just this little bit.

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  2. This left me wanting more! Yeah write . . . some more :)

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    1. Thanks, Judy. It was harder to write this than I expected, but I'll get there :)

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  3. Wow. I bet that was hard to write, but I loved your descriptions. I could picture the room in my head easily.

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    1. I'm glad I was able to bring you into the room, not literally, obviously. You wouldn't want to be there!

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  4. Oh my, I'm so sorry! I am glad to read this was 1994, that almost two decades have passed.

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  5. okay new girl, i'm glad you shared this with Yeah Write and certainly hpe there's more to come.

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    1. Thanks! And there will be, but the words have been hard to get out.

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  6. I recognize more in this post than I care to relive. Not me, but my husband. Not overdose, but underdose. Ouch. I'm heartened by the humor in your "About Me." I look forward to reading more of your experience. I'm sure there are parallels to my husband's. I'm glad to have 'met' you, Bee.

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    1. Welcome, Emma, and nice to "meet" you too! I have to keep my humor. It's my life saver :)

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  7. I felt like I was there with you the way you wrote this. I am soooo glad you are better. I lost a brother to this and so it is always good to read when other survive this.

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    1. Winnie, I am so sorry for your loss. *hugs* I nearly lost my own brother to depression, and unfortunately, he has stopped taking his meds. He seems to be doing well, if not a bit hypomanic, but I don't really know for sure because he lives out west.

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  8. Big hugs to you, Bee, for your bravery in sharing part of your story. I hope you'll tell us more.

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    1. Thank you, and I will!
      P.S. - I used to date a guy from Livonia. :)

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  9. You changed the look of your blog, I love it. And, I really do not get how people think this is a Christianity blog just off your name. Love this post, you are one brave cookie and I love it.

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    1. I was wondering the same thing and I think some people think "Script" is short for scripture. Oh, well. If they like it, they'll come back and if not, they won't. And thank you. :)

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  10. Oh wow. That sounds terrifying. Thank you for sharing; I hope you'll share more.

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    1. I plan to continue writing "The New Girl," but it will have to be in small bits at a time. I'm glad you liked it.

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  11. This was very gripping. Thank you for your courage to share. It isn't easy but you give others courage as well and hopefully it helps with your healing. *hugs*

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  12. Wow. Such a powerful piece - your last line is outstanding. I want to read more of your story when you're ready to share it.

    And this could so easily have been me it gave me chills.

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    1. Thank you. I think it's a story that isn't often told but should be.

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  13. Great details. Definitely want to hear more of this because your storytelling is great!

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  14. Wow. Amazing writing, Bee. How awful to have gone through this. For some reason, the part that made me saddest was the view out the window. Thank you for sharing.

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    1. Thank you, Diane. Yeah, the view from that particular hospital is pretty depressing. If you weren't depressed going in, you certainly would be by the time you left!

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  15. What a great first entry on the grid! I loved all your descriptions--it was like I was right there, next to you. I know it was hard to write, but I'm so glad you did!

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    1. Thanks, Ginny Marie! You have been a huge inspiration this past month. I'm so glad we "met" :D

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  16. It must have taken a great deal of courage to post this. A very well written account of what must have been a very difficult and emotional time.

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  17. Very powerful. This definitely left me wanting to read more.

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    1. Thanks, Angela. I'll work on adding more. It may be a while. Writing's been so tough since I've been on Pristiq.

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  18. Also, as a fellow sufferer of mental illness, I really enjoy reading this blog and admire your courage in sharing. I would like to give you a liebster. Check it out here: http://notappropriate4.blogspot.com/2012/10/you-won-what-is-that-thing_17.html Let me know if you accept. Just leave a comment anywhere on my blog. Comment again after you have done your liebster post, and I can link you up from my blog. Really, really brave post. I'm glad you made it.

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  19. Wow. I am so impressed with your a) your courage in writing about this and b) your skill in writing it. You gave the perfect level of detail, vivid but not overwrought descriptions, and not one word out of place. PLEASE keep writing!!!

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    1. Honestly, it took more courage for me to submit it to the yeah write challenge grid than it did to write. The difficulty in writing was because of my meds, I think, and I'm out of practice. I promise that when I continue this piece I won't hit anyone over the head with oversimplified "life lessons." lol I wonder if I should have written this from my cat's point of view? Hahaha! =P

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  20. This piece really has a lot of impact. Thank you for sharing this time in your life with us.

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    1. I usually prefer to write humorous pieces, but I guess I needed to get this out. :)

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  21. Gripping piece full of courage. Hugs to you. You're details were meted out perfectly. Ellen

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